għorokli l-ġrieħi bil-melħ
żommli idi, għattili għajnejja
ħa negħreq fik
ma tafx li nħobb ngħum
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Join the discussion 3 Comments
The above poem has more to it than what shows at its surface level. That’s a rich quality in any poetry.
May I humbly suggest that you improve the following words: ogħrokli, isserrħek, negħreq. They seem to have escaped your attention!
It’s my dream that small groups of writers meet and discuss each other’s works (especially poems and short stories). So much can be gained from the feedback given. What do you think?
Grazzi Joseph. Fil-fatt qabżuli jiena u nikkopja għax ovvjament fil-Leħen il-Malti huma ppubblikati tajjeb – pero ‘għorokli’ ħallejnieha kif inhi fit-test. Interessanti li għalik tinqara bħala kmand, imma din hija n-natura tal-poeżija u s-sabiħ tagħha wkoll…
Jiena ili xi snin norganizza workshops ta’ din in-natura. Bħalissa m’hemm xejn ippjanat għax fis-sajf innaqqas is-sessions. Tista’ tingħaqad magħna fil-grupp ‘The Creative Writing Lab’ fuq Facebook biex tkun taf meta jkunu se jsiru workshops oħra. Il-grupp huwa mimli nies li jħobbu l-kitba 🙂
Grazzi tat-tweġiba. Qiegħed nistenna li sseħibni fil-grupp tal-Creative Writing Lab.